I'm still living with the parents, but it's starting to get easier to live here. Not that I want to be. But part of that acceptance came when I stopping doing creative things. I've been on a hiatus from the Artist's Way course since the end of August and I can't seem to get myself to start it up again. It's quite depressing. My dad got me a job through his American Express connections. I'll be working as a meeting planner for American Express. Not sure if this is a lifelong career, but it's a start to making money...a lot of money. I don't know. The whole thing just feels wrong to me. From the get go, I was hired simply because my dad used to work for AmEx, and his connections trickled down to this job. I was hired after a 15 minute conversation and told that I would be given everything I would need for a home office, and they would pay some of my bills. I was floored. It seemed like too much, and it was too easy. I'm working for "corporate America," and I just don't know if this is what God intended for me, especially since my Matt. 10 revelation. It's so hard to know, though. When I meditated on the possibility of leaving on my own to travel, I knew that it would begin in October, if it were to begin at all. I figured that if I wasn't supposed to leave, then something would come along before October. And this did come along. And it came along very easily! It just doesn't feel right to me. I don't know. I feel like a sell-out, I guess. Is this really accomplishing anything in the world? In the grand scheme of things? No. What am I accomplishing? Making businessmen happy by running a large meeting for them. But maybe I'm looking at this the completely wrong way. Perhaps this is where I am meant to be and my work ethic is supposed to portray my care for others and my Christian ethics. I felt that way at church a few Sundays ago. The priest talked about a man who was a builder, and he wanted to retire. The man he worked for asked him if he could build one more house for him, as a personal favor. The builder took the job, because he respected his employer, but his heart wasn't in it. He did a lot of poor craftsmanship, and some of his work wasn't up to code. He put in a lot of lower quality materials, as well. Some of you may already know how this ends, but bear with me. On the day it was finished, the man's employer came to look over the finished house. When he arrived, though, he handed the builder a key and said, "This is your house. I am so grateful for all of the work you have done for me, and this is my thanks to you." The builder was so surprised, but ended up thinking, 'If only I had known that this was MY house. I would have done things so differently.' That story really struck a cord with me. I have to care for this job as if I were planning these meetings and events for myself. How would I want the meeting to go if it were MY meeting? How would I want to be cared for? And perhaps in all of that, I will exude a professional, Christian work ethic and those that I plan meetings for will notice and appreciate the care that gets put into my plans. All I can do is the best I can, and if this is where God wants to lead me, then I will take this challenge and do the best I can. I just hope this is where God wants me to be! Hopefully by next summer I will either move out and away, or out and into a nearby apartment with friends.
I'm trying to get started with Yoga. A friend recommended I try it out because of how it has helped her and the health benefits of it all. She swears by Wai Lana yoga, so we'll see how I do. Just bought my first ever Yoga mat today at Marshalls. Can't seem to find any yoga videos at discount stores, but Wai Lana is also on TV for free, and because my family pays for HDTV, I can record the show so I don't have to wake up before 7am to do it! :) My little brother says he wants to do it with me! How cute! I think my younger sister should definitely do it with me, if she wants to continue with dance. But she probably won't want to take the time out of her day...
I've been making dinner in my house recently, and everyone has really enjoyed the dishes that I've cooked. It's satisfying to me to be able to cook. I love cooking and learning new techniques. Today I made an Indian dish with rice, lots of vegetables, and some beef. The flavor came from a spice packet mix, and a can of coconut milk. It was a little spicy, but mostly good. I was pleased with it. It wasn't exactly what I wanted, but I don't have the exact recipe for what I want. So this was good enough until I get the recipe I want. :) It's some kind of panang curry. So if anyone has that recipe, let me know! All I know is that it involves fish sauce (which cooks off, but smells awful until it is cooked off).
Here's a recipe I really want to try!!
Pumpkin Ale Ice Cream Float (from Rachel Ray)
1 cup heavy cream
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1 pt. vanilla ice cream
2 12-oz. bottles of pumpkin ale
4 gingersnaps, crumbled (optional)
Using an electric mixer with a wisk attachment, whip the cream, sugar, and cinnamon until blended. Scoop the ice cream into 4 highball glasses and add half a bottle of beer to each glass. Top with whipped cream and gingersnaps.
It sounds amazing!